Monday, October 3, 2011

The Tiara

There is something about wearing a tiara that transforms a girl into a princess. There is not any magic in the crown just some sparkly plastic that gives a sense of confidence even if it is only for a half an hour of pretend.
The idea of a beautiful princess, handsome prince, a daring rescue, a kiss, and a happily ever after flooded my mind when a four year old put a tiara on me while we played dress up today.
Immediately, I saw the transformation when I grabbed another pink sequenced tiara and placed it on sweet Kayah's head. All of a sudden she was smiling and dancing as if she were the most beautiful princess there ever was. As I spun her around and danced around the living room, I could not help but see the moment the Lord created for me.
There is something captivating about a girl who finally believes she is beautiful. We see it in others because we are constantly comparing but the moment when it comes true for you is the moment the Lord rejoices. God does not mess up. His definition of beautiful is not the magazine you stare at in line at the grocery store, or the girl who is surrounded by the boys, or the "perfect" body you are killing yourself to get. If you want to see His definition of beauty, go look in the mirror. The effort you are making to look like she does is being reciprocated with her efforts to resemble you. God wants us all to walk in freedom, Satan is relishing every moment you tear yourself down, compare, and believe the lies he is whispering in your ear. Do not let him have that power.
I understand every aspect of comparison first hand because for years I walked around thinking I was not "her." Every lie I believed lead me further away from the truth of who the Lord said I was. When we give Satan even just a moment it is stealing the life we ought to be living. Now I can say I am thankful I am not "her" because that means I am me! There is feedom in this truth. I dare you to be you. I dare you to ask the Lord who you are. I dare you to put on that tiara. Its your time to radiate His love, all eyes are on you <3
How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights!
Song of Solomon 7:6

Friday, July 29, 2011

Beauty in the Broken

LisaAnne Photography

This past week has been one of the best weeks of the summer! The beautiful Lisa Anne came to visit me. So many words come to mind when I think of her but the best of friends is what we are! She has evolved into a talented photographer and I got to be a snapshot of her work while she was here.

When I take the time to write its because of something that has inspired me and Lisa captured one of those moments.

For the people who know me best, you know I have a heart for women and girls. The Lord showed this to me while still in high school and my passion has not changed.

Take another look at the picture...

When Lisa had taken the picture, I thought it was a neat and an artistic way of taking a photo. I did not realize how quick I would feel the Lords heart when I got to see it from the other side of the lens.

As soon as I saw it, it was a rush of emotion. I took myself out of the picture and saw it for what it was portraying.
The Lord revealed to me the truth of my struggles but also what may be some of your struggles as well. We see ourselves as broken and distorted. We are looking into a mirror that has been distorted itself. That mirror represents the world. We are living in a world where sin reigns and where sin reigns, lies rule. We can not get a healthy perspective on the reflection we see because Satan wants to distort what God has originally intended for as beauty. The question is, how will we ever see the correct reflection?
There is no way of escaping the sinful world we live in until the Lord comes but it does not take away from the power of a Savior. Each of us have our internal battles whether its with our physical self or who we have become. Either way we will see what we do not like when we stare at that mirror. The Lord is bigger then any battle we may face. He is the photographer. He is not looking at the cracks and pieces but instead looking at the beauty staring into the mess. He wants us to stop staring at the distortion and turn to face the lens because through His eyes we are perfectly put together.

I am not writing off the pain and pieces but instead encouraging you to turn and look at your Maker. When we look at Jesus our purpose becomes clear, our reason for living becomes evident, and our struggles will turn into testimonies! We have to believe with everything we are that there is beauty in the broken. Stop staring at the pieces and turn to the Healer.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

The bench

This morning I wanted to get outside and away from people, and traffic, and everything else that distracts me! You know those moments in life when you just want to be closer to the Lord...I feel like being out in nature is my of escape. The Lord is everywhere and anywhere but He comes alive to me when its His creation and me.
I decided to take a trail called view point. I have never done it before but it went up and it looked like it would be beautiful once I got to where ever it lead. I started out running then of course started walking. The freshly rained on trail, green trees, and cool breeze made it a beautiful wog. (walk and jog :) )
I took time to stop and look at the view. It was so pretty! I could see all of Fort Collins and the other people out enjoying the brisk morning but it was still only me on the trail I chose. I was so glad not to be near anyone!
After some time, I reached a point in the trail where it flattened out from the incline I was on. I saw a bench and a sign. I made it there and I read..."End of trail, Return the way you came!"
I could not help but take a moment to think how much this parallels my life in a lot of aspects. In life, we choose a trail and we work to miss the rocks or struggles, as well as take time to look and see the beauty of where we are at, not knowing what is ahead; then sometimes we arrive at the end of a trail or time of life where there is only a bench. God gave me a beautiful picture of how to think about my life with my time on View Point trail.
I chose a trail not knowing where it would take me trusting that it would be worth it in the end. As I got to the top and saw a bench it was a reminder that God was giving me a chance to stop, sit, and think about what I have just gone through. A lot of times in our journey we wonder if we go through everything for a reason. We sure do! In that moment I got to see how the Lord wants us to learn why we got to that bench. That bench symbolizes a time of rest and reflection while the sign shows us that its time to turn around. If I would have arrived to only a sign, I would not have taken time to look around and capture the what seems to me an anticlimatic moment. It was actually a time to appreciate where I have been but also realize there is more ahead. Dead ends in life are not "the ends." I needed this time with the Lord this morning more than anything. He gave me a perfect parallel of how I can appreciate the pain and beauty of a trail but also know He has more once we decide to turn around and see what is next.
I hope you too can appreciate the time on the bench but more importantly anticipate the turning around to see what God has in store!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Psalms 118:8
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.

Ohh if we as humans could grasp this concept early in life, it would save a lot of pain in our journeys. I believe pain has the ability to shape a lot of who we are but the most important part of pain is laying it back down at the feet of Jesus. We may go through pain but if we keep carrying it, the burden will only get heavier. As followers of Christ, we have the ability to trust every part of our lives to God. He invites us to lay down all that holds us back from trusting Him fully. The most difficult part of laying down the hurt that we feel is the fear of the unknown. So many of us adjust to finding our identity in our pain that if we do not have that then we may lose a part of who we are. Here is the wonderful part of Who my Jesus is, He promises to take what binds us and give back something that will enable us to fly.

The Lord is constantly working in our lives to give us His best. How can any of us turn down His best? I know from my own walk with Him, I have done that. I have chosen to be selfish. I never viewed it as selfish until the best Dad in the world, my Dad opened my eyes to it. I did not realize that by me choosing to go on with what I am comfortable with is actually saying Lord, I do not trust that You know whats best for me. My heart hurts because I so desperately want to please my Jesus. I know He's waiting, I know He's patient, I know He loves me. This has to be motivation enough to reach out for His hand. At least I know it is for me. God takes us individually on a journey to trust His heart and His intentions. His intentions are good! All good! All I can do is smile as I think about it.
I hope your ready to jump into His arms too!

Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,

for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Choosing the Desert

My passion for writing has been on hold for far too long and its time to write again. There are so many aspects of life that we internally dwell on but if we were to vocalize it, we would realize we are not alone. Whether that comes in journaling independently, having a heart to heart conversation with a trusted friend, or crying out to the Lord, these are all forms of getting outside of ourselves and putting into words what is going on in our hearts. I am sitting down to blog again because writing is my way of speaking what goes on inside of me.

Therefore I am going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and

speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will

make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth...

Hosea 2:14-15

Two years ago I sat down with a strong woman of the Lord and trusted friend. She took the time to minister to me through verses and prayer. Lately, I have not been able to get them off of my mind. She spoke to me with tears in her eyes because she knew the battle going on within me. What has stuck with me since then is how she told me I had to choose to go into that desert. I was terrified. I didn't want to go into that place. I did not want to be out of my comfort zone. I did not want to "lose control." I told myself I had everything I needed and I would be fine. Clearly, those words still echo in my heart and mind. I am in awe by the God I serve. His love and His patience to see me through even when I put Him at arms length away but pretended to trust Him in my journey.
Perspective in life is hard to attain because we're so involved in the day to day and the struggles we face. We forget to step back and realize that God has our hearts, He has our best interest, and most importantly He has every event in our life working together to bring glory to Him. Yes, we're going to struggle and experience pain but do not forget the pain He went through so He could help us through ours. My choices have brought me to this place of realizing all I need is Him. All I need is to know with all my heart that what I have been through is not in vain and all that I am going to go through in this life will not be for nothing. That is my prayer to keep the right perspective, to not get so involved in myself that I forget I have the Creator of the world wanting to be involved in every laugh, every cry and every moment.
Some of us won't have the choice to go into that desert depending on the Lords will but when there's doubt, remember the Lord is already there waiting. I am writing this for myself but I know we all have our things we're nervous about. Take a step of faith, get out of the boat.